choices and their consequences
Shaping your life.
I am someone who has a back-up planned for a back-up plan. It gives me assurance that if something doesn't go according to the main plan, I won't just sit idle and cry about it. (Maybe I would cry, a little.) Lately, I've been pondering on this thought process. If I Plan A is what I really want in life, why would I need back-ups to settle on something else? Shouldn't I pursue the main idea no matter the outcome?
I've watched many motivational videos about this — how you should aim for that "one thing" in life and go all in without any back-ups. Honestly, I find it a little absurd. I get all that "passion" and "burning desire" aspect, but I think it puts you in unnecessary tremendous pressure. You could be happy and still pursue your goals relentlessly. That's how I intend to do it. Easy to say, I know, but I'm trying hard to live in the present and focus on the tasks at hand; one day at a time. If you're struggling with doing the same, I'd say draw out a basic plan just so you could stop thinking about it and start taking action. Here are a couple of approaches I use when planning for the future:
I start by writing down a list of things I would like to achieve in the near future (as of now, for the next ~ 3 years or so). This could include anything from getting a master's degree to being able to cook my own meals. No matter how big or small the goal — just put it down. Then, I evaluate them based on priorities, and then, their efficiencies with other goals. For example, I want to travel and be able to pay for the same. This would mean earning money, which would mean doing a job, and of course, getting quality education before that. I try to rearrange and link every goal with one main goal that supports it (currently, education) and make a roadmap for the next few years. If I'm in the mood to go overboard and think about needless details (which is not recommended, unless you occasionally get pulled into these thought processes when you take a shower or something and cannot bounce back to reality), I will evaluate possible scenarios I might end up in and what I'd do if I were in any one of those. Like, if one of the goals linked does not end up happening, how should I reassess the remaining goals and make sure that the flow does not stop. (Because I'm highly analytical, I cannot sit still and not think about "what if this doesn't work". I understand that everything won't work out exactly the way I want it to — and I intend to try to keep it flexible. I just love organising and having all things planned out before starting afresh or when dealing with something new. It keeps my mind at peace knowing that I have evaluated a situation thoroughly beforehand.)
You might think I have too much free time on my hands but the truth is I cannot sleep at night without worrying about these things. I envy people who go with the flow. I would like to adapt that mindset someday, at least to one aspect of my life, and just see what happens. Miracles unfold, they say.
Noting down the pros and cons of two (or more) situations at play really helps. This is something my cousin sister does, and when I had talked with her about being in two minds once, she highly suggested that I do this. Make four columns and write every single positive and negative aspect of both the situations. I recently watched a video wherein the girl suggested that after you write down your pros and cons list, instead of analyzing the pros, go through the cons first and cross out the ones you're okay dealing with. This leaves you with a much broader perspective, unravelling not just the good but also the bad aspects of any decision. I found this approach to be very wholesome, and highly recommend it. She also said this in her video — "Our quality of life is the derivative of the choices we make in alignment with our beliefs." — and I think it's absolutely cool. (If you'd like to check out her website, click here. Not sponsored, lol.)
Moreover, I believe the main crux of all this planning should be if you're really happy doing it and if it's adding value to your life. If you genuinely don't want to do it, you should drop the idea. There have been many instances when I've asked people for advice and they've expected that I follow them. Not gonna lie, I sometimes do feel obliged to just take that road and go down the "set" path. All I know is that I don't want to regret considering someone else's advice before my wants just because it seems "secure". I am a very calculative person, and I don't go forward with a decision unless I'm sure I'll get some good returns out of it. At least I know following my heart would make me happy knowing that I tried my best. That weighs a lot more, I guess. I'm not sure what the scenario would be like in 5/10/20 years, but at least I won't blame or give credits to someone else for it. I know that I'll be responsible for my life. (And I'm pretty sure you can change the course anytime you feel like — provided you have patience, persistence, and passion.)
Despite having back-ups, I've decided to fearlessly pursue Plan A, and not think about anything else. Excessive planning is useless, and takes time out of my main focus area. Who knows, whichever side I end up on, it'll be for the better.